








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1230 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9308 | 21% |
| Smokes | 16130 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 9796 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9158 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,289,663 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W3d3n | 53% | 85 |
| #2 | Abel | 53% | 465 |
| #3 | Gordon | 53% | 262 |
| #4 | Brandt | 51% | 216 |
| #5 | Doomhax | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abel | 961 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | Doomhax | 473 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Gordon | 448 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Brandt | 422 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Rafell | 332 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon | +3.29 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Abel | +1.60 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | Brandt | +0.70 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | Doomhax | +0.08 | 61 | 78 |
| #5 | Laux | -0.42 | 73 | 71 |





