








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2562 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1362 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2254 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,132 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | foremangori | 49% | 57 |
| #6 | Le1sk4 | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Zenko | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | Jalasaar | 41% | 76 |
| #9 | Juho | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macha | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Jalasaar | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Turska | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | foremangori | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Zenko | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macha | 411 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Turska | 238 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jalasaar | 226 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Le1sk4 | 146 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Likanaamanurmikko | 96 | 0.12 | 3 min |





