








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5 | 10% |
| Smokes | 7 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 33 | 63% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,979 of utility $7 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gun | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | kirbei | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Jabba the | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | jeff slayer | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | sea oh 2 | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sea oh 2 | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | door | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | jeff slayer | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | door | 163 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | sea oh 2 | 90 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | jeff slayer | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sachiho | 25 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | rafiki | 23 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff slayer | +5.89 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | kirbei | +5.87 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | gun | +3.58 | 84 | 23 |
| #4 | sea oh 2 | +2.85 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | SEN tteokbokki | -0.59 | 75 | 31 |





