








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2933 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1878 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,647 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jblizz | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | jake | 53% | 112 |
| #3 | NewTe$tament | 46% | 80 |
| #4 | Pierce | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jblizz | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | jake | 53% | 112 |
| #3 | NewTe$tament | 46% | 80 |
| #4 | Pierce | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewTe$tament | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | jake | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Pierce | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | jblizz | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jake | 325 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Pierce | 227 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | NewTe$tament | 226 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | jblizz | 102 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierce | +2.55 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Shanye | +0.04 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | jake | -0.43 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | NewTe$tament | -0.72 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | jblizz | -1.82 | 64 | 58 |





