








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2325 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2687 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2148 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2294 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,188 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shanye | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | jake | 53% | 105 |
| #3 | LiLMaN | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | Pierce | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | NewTe$tament | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LiLMaN | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | Pierce | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | NewTe$tament | 46% | 96 |
| #6 | daddys little spastic | 33% | 52 |
| #7 | pinfinna nut | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jake | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Pierce | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | NewTe$tament | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | daddys little spastic | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierce | 374 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | LiLMaN | 340 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #3 | NewTe$tament | 282 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | jake | 272 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Shanye | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiLMaN | +3.47 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | daddys little spastic | +3.40 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | Pierce | +0.44 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | NewTe$tament | +0.22 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | Shanye | -0.04 | 67 | 58 |





