








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2679 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1723 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2322 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2425 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,110 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arde | 57% | 138 |
| #2 | bounch | 56% | 187 |
| #3 | HakkiSkrt | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | PJMS | 53% | 103 |
| #5 | haudi | 52% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elosmian | 19 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | arde | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | PJMS | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | bounch | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | roseviivi | 8 | 0.0229 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bounch | 504 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | PJMS | 441 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Elosmian | 407 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | arde | 320 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | haudi | 163 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bounch | +3.62 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | PJMS | +1.24 | 70 | 75 |
| #3 | Elosmian | +0.82 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | haudi | +0.48 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | daze +_- [A] | +0.35 | 75 | 59 |





