








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 999 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4774 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3138 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3285 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3105 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,676 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bounch | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | haudi | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | arde | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | daze +_- [A] | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Elosmian | 11 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bounch | 385 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Elosmian | 336 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | haudi | 291 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | arde | 243 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | daze +_- [A] | 229 | 0.11 | 6 min |





