








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 450 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4868 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4158 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4914 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4267 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,153,323 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1050 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinatra | 63% | 174 |
| #2 | bacardi | 62% | 104 |
| #3 | alexib (haha) | 61% | 165 |
| #4 | Kief Teufel | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | ✭ T Y S O N | 56% | 436 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bacardi | 62% | 104 |
| #3 | alexib (haha) | 61% | 165 |
| #4 | Kief Teufel | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | ✭ T Y S O N | 56% | 436 |
| #6 | Xannie | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinatra | 37 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | alexib (haha) | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ✭ T Y S O N | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | bacardi | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Kief Teufel | 9 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✭ T Y S O N | 473 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #2 | bacardi | 226 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | alexib (haha) | 119 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | sinatra | 83 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xannie | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinatra | +4.03 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Xannie | +1.74 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | ✭ T Y S O N | +0.92 | 60 | 55 |
| #4 | benko | +0.52 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | alexib (haha) | -0.03 | 70 | 54 |





