










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 1,697 | |
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2227 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4483 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3831 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,353,631 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN | 77% | 30 |
| #2 | Sea Salt | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | Lost ctrl | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | Cykk_ | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | ♫Pink Floyd♫ | 49% | 432 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♫Pink Floyd♫ | 67 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Cykk_ | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | AN | 8 | 0.0145 |
| #4 | Sea Salt | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | tobbs | 2 | 0.0025 |





