








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 21% |
| Smokes | 895 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 954 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,168,084 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | splake | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Lekey Zeke | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | m1nt | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | chatterbox-- | 48% | 128 |
| #5 | zerk | 47% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Symmesera | 46% | 128 |
| #8 | grug | 43% | 93 |
| #9 | Bad™ | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | le1n9d | 40% | 20 |
| #11 | ANCANIS | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmesera | 19 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | zerk | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | grug | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Lekey Zeke | 6 | 0.0243 |
| #5 | chatterbox-- | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerk | 655 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Symmesera | 381 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | chatterbox-- | 319 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | grug | 184 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lekey Zeke | 111 | 0.45 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lekey Zeke | +3.66 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | m1nt | +2.44 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | grug | +1.14 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | chatterbox-- | +0.66 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | zerk | +0.38 | 82 | 71 |





