








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1009 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1330 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,951 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerk | 54% | 76 |
| #2 | m1nt | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | chatterbox-- | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Symmesera | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Lekey Zeke | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmesera | 17 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | zerk | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | m1nt | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | chatterbox-- | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lekey Zeke | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmesera | 403 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | zerk | 392 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | chatterbox-- | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lekey Zeke | 122 | 0.41 | 4 min |
| #5 | ergo | 106 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad3sto | +2.59 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Lekey Zeke | +2.07 | 72 | 78 |
| #3 | zerk | +1.03 | 78 | 74 |
| #4 | grug | +0.93 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | m1nt | +0.61 | 79 | 43 |





