








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3039 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3893 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 948 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2026 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,905,461 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | le1n9d | 47% | 45 |
| #8 | Symmesera | 46% | 127 |
| #9 | zerk | 46% | 158 |
| #10 | oh_kay | 45% | 115 |
| #11 | ANCANIS | 43% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmesera | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ergo | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | oh_kay | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | grug | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | zerk | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerk | 776 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Symmesera | 362 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | splake | 275 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | ANCANIS | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | grug | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chatterbox-- | +1.96 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | zerk | +1.08 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | grug | +0.70 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | splake | -0.50 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | Symmesera | -0.84 | 74 | 59 |





