








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1104 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 452 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1198 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,652 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akez | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | splake | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | chatterbox-- | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | wAck | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | le1n9d | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ergo | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | grug | 33% | 15 |
| #8 | Symmesera | 33% | 21 |
| #9 | oh_kay | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | ANCANIS | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le1n9d | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | wAck | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | ergo | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | grug | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | splake | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | splake | 372 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | le1n9d | 270 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | chatterbox-- | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | akez | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Symmesera | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chatterbox-- | +3.12 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | grug | +2.55 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | akez | +1.97 | 87 | 47 |
| #4 | Symmesera | +1.72 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | ergo | +0.64 | 72 | 31 |





