








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3002 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5097 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6224 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5307 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,453,051 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sarmoc | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | KennyHess | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | Lito | 43% | 196 |
| #6 | Monsieur Brutus | 43% | 90 |
| #7 | 🆇🅰🅽🅰🆇 | 43% | 40 |





