








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1527 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 513 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,660 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WORGODICP | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Mark Givens | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | PUHHH | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | PuffcoBtw | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Diese Hündinnen lieben Sosa | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PuffcoBtw | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Diese Hündinnen lieben Sosa | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | Hamms | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | Rips Nigley | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUHHH | 15 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Hamms | 11 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | 8 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | PuffcoBtw | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Mark Givens | 3 | 0.0268 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamms | 155 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | PUHHH | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | PuffcoBtw | 45 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | WORGODICP | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WORGODICP | +4.07 | 57 | 60 |
| #2 | PUHHH | +3.41 | 66 | 35 |
| #3 | Hamms | +0.99 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | ben darnley | +0.01 | 48 | 66 |
| #5 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | -1.19 | 41 | 41 |





