








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2083 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1470 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,952 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hamms | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | PUHHH | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | 49% | 68 |
| #7 | Diese Hündinnen lieben Sosa | 47% | 94 |
| #8 | Rips Nigley | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUHHH | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Hamms | 5 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | ben darnley | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Diese Hündinnen lieben Sosa | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diese Hündinnen lieben Sosa | 168 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | ben darnley | 128 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hamms | 63 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Thomas Andrew Darnley | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | WORGODICP | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WORGODICP | +4.61 | 56 | 55 |
| #2 | PUHHH | +3.80 | 65 | 42 |
| #3 | Hamms | +2.03 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | PuffcoBtw | +0.02 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | ben darnley | -0.17 | 42 | 71 |





