








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1011 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




203 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3143 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3661 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1062 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,178,033 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Got Evickted | 46% | 184 |
| #6 | Chaos | 46% | 208 |
| #7 | Zega | 44% | 292 |
| #8 | Dpstx | 43% | 168 |
| #9 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 42% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 97 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | 94 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Dpstx | 91 | 0.0265 |
| #4 | blur | 87 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Zega | 48 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blur | 1067 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | 726 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Zega | 607 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 520 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Dpstx | 292 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawnzzz | +3.31 | 64 | 41 |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | +0.97 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | blur | +0.93 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | Chaos | -0.47 | 21 | 49 |
| #5 | Got Evickted | -0.62 | 37 | 49 |





