








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




199 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3677 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4519 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2485 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,548 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawnzzz | 113 | 0.0225 |
| #2 | Dpstx | 96 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | ✪ John Quiñones | 80 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | blur | 66 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | Got Evickted | 57 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blur | 857 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | 567 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Zega | 460 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dawnzzz | 329 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Got Evickted | 269 | 0.06 | 5 min |





