








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2004 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4239 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2794 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,772,902 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ John Quiñones | 43% | 227 |
| #6 | blur | 41% | 295 |
| #7 | Zega | 39% | 237 |
| #8 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 34% | 147 |
| #9 | Dpstx | 33% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ John Quiñones | 66 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | blur | 65 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Dawnzzz | 65 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 54 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | Dpstx | 39 | 0.0266 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blur | 990 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | 490 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Zega | 429 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Dawnzzz | 295 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 289 | 0.10 | 5 min |





