








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2014 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 356 matches | ||
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




349 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10246 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6221 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 10768 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 9569 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,324,408 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dpstx | 44% | 192 |
| #7 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 43% | 223 |
| #8 | Chaos | 43% | 126 |
| #9 | Zega | 43% | 122 |
| #10 | blur | 43% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dpstx | 78 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | 73 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | Dawnzzz | 73 | 0.0194 |
| #4 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 69 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | blur | 41 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blur | 559 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪ John Quiñones | 489 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Chromosomecollector (scared) | 397 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | 💣Ɲᴧ𝓭ℯ𝓼💥 | 338 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dawnzzz | 252 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawnzzz | +3.22 | 63 | 43 |
| #2 | cranberry | +3.00 | 73 | 35 |
| #3 | ✪ John Quiñones | +1.78 | 59 | 47 |
| #4 | Got Evickted | +0.72 | 43 | 50 |
| #5 | blur | +0.71 | 66 | 54 |





