








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1879 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2498 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2477 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2148 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,817 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan | 54% | 128 |
| #2 | xPaw | 47% | 198 |
| #3 | Mema | 44% | 124 |
| #4 | Fault | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan | 54% | 128 |
| #2 | xPaw | 47% | 198 |
| #3 | Mema | 44% | 124 |
| #4 | Fault | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPaw | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Ryan | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Mema | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Fault | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mema | 222 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | xPaw | 191 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ryan | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fault | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mairis | +3.15 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Ryan | +0.53 | 61 | 51 |
| #3 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | -0.38 | 53 | 36 |
| #4 | Fault | -0.91 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | xPaw | -1.00 | 51 | 62 |





