








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 467 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1918 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1010 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1389 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,283 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mairis | 54% | 128 |
| #2 | xPaw | 51% | 116 |
| #3 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Mema | 40% | 47 |
| #5 | Fault | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mairis | 54% | 128 |
| #2 | xPaw | 51% | 116 |
| #3 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Mema | 40% | 47 |
| #5 | Fault | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPaw | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Mairis | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Mema | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mairis | 227 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | xPaw | 106 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mema | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fault | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mairis | +2.96 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | +1.56 | 65 | 39 |
| #3 | Ryan | +0.82 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | Fault | -1.01 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | xPaw | -1.12 | 53 | 65 |





