








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1266 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2584 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1973 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1699 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,358 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPaw | 45% | 89 |
| #2 | Mairis | 43% | 44 |
| #3 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | Mema | 33% | 27 |
| #5 | Ryan | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPaw | 45% | 89 |
| #2 | Mairis | 43% | 44 |
| #3 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | Mema | 33% | 27 |
| #5 | Ryan | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPaw | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Mema | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Mairis | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPaw | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mairis | 80 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mema | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ryan | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mairis | +3.28 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | Ryan | +1.23 | 55 | 50 |
| #3 | xPaw | +0.67 | 51 | 61 |
| #4 | 𝙠𝙧𝙞𝙨 | -0.15 | 61 | 41 |
| #5 | Fault | -0.38 | 57 | 67 |





