








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1003 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1082 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1541 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,226,410 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Stifler's Mom (. )( . ) | 36% | 50 |
| #16 | Renegade94 | 35% | 31 |
| #17 | SlxttyMooMoo | 35% | 20 |
| #18 | Rusty_Frannie | 34% | 35 |
| #19 | Savage.D.Unicorn | 34% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0neWolf4k | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | DJ_VorteX | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | RedOctober | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | FluffyFlamingo | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedOctober | 274 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 252 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lexor | 197 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | DJ_VorteX | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | @n4c0nd4 | 117 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atCanis | +6.74 | 64 | 49 |
| #2 | Jolly Jammer | +3.72 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | L0neWolf4k | +2.36 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | @n4c0nd4 | +0.71 | 42 | 51 |
| #5 | NOVA✪ | +0.37 | 69 | 53 |





