








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 565 | 23% |
| Smokes | 476 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 587 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 784 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,005 of utility $352 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Destr06er | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | NOVA✪ | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | DJ_VorteX | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Heart_Under_Blade | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Stifler's Mom (. )( . ) | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Lexor | 27% | 15 |
| #13 | FluffyFlamingo | 26% | 31 |
| #14 | RedOctober | 24% | 38 |
| #15 | Vlokkie | 16% | 31 |
| #16 | Renegade94 | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0neWolf4k | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | atCanis | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Heart_Under_Blade | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | RedOctober | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 93 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | atCanis | 91 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | RedOctober | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Heart_Under_Blade | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | FluffyFlamingo | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atCanis | +7.11 | 65 | 50 |
| #2 | L0neWolf4k | +3.40 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | NOVA✪ | +2.81 | 86 | 48 |
| #4 | Destr06er | +2.25 | 51 | 30 |
| #5 | @n4c0nd4 | +0.90 | 34 | 50 |





