








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3811 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5072 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4821 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4477 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,001,176 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphaR | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | FluffyFlamingo | 45% | 76 |
| #3 | Stifler's Mom (. )( . ) | 45% | 85 |
| #4 | atCanis | 44% | 129 |
| #5 | DJ_VorteX | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | RedOctober | 37% | 164 |
| #15 | Vlokkie | 35% | 190 |
| #16 | Rusty_Frannie | 33% | 110 |
| #17 | Destr06er | 31% | 39 |
| #18 | Lexor | 29% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0neWolf4k | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Vlokkie | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | RedOctober | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | FluffyFlamingo | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | atCanis | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atCanis | +7.01 | 63 | 52 |
| #2 | Jolly Jammer | +4.68 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | L0neWolf4k | +4.39 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | NOVA✪ | +2.11 | 72 | 42 |
| #5 | @n4c0nd4 | -0.03 | 39 | 54 |





