








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1073 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4110 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4119 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 8541 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 5727 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,568 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conquest | 56% | 120 |
| #2 | Vandit | 49% | 207 |
| #3 | Sprinkles | 46% | 236 |
| #4 | Lalauren123 | 45% | 549 |
| #5 | Scum Prophet | 45% | 315 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Vandit | 49% | 207 |
| #3 | Sprinkles | 46% | 236 |
| #4 | Lalauren123 | 45% | 549 |
| #5 | Scum Prophet | 45% | 315 |
| #6 | I ♡ E-Girls | 43% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vandit | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Scum Prophet | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Sprinkles | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | I ♡ E-Girls | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Lalauren123 | 6 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scum Prophet | 837 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | I ♡ E-Girls | 576 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | Vandit | 221 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Conquest | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lalauren123 | 71 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conquest | +2.17 | 57 | 31 |
| #2 | Vandit | +1.82 | 60 | 56 |
| #3 | TexasEddy | +0.76 | 43 | 58 |
| #4 | I ♡ E-Girls | +0.23 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | Sprinkles | -0.09 | 32 | 13 |





