








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3215 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1274 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,774 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conquest | 51% | 77 |
| #2 | Scum Prophet | 46% | 216 |
| #3 | Vandit | 43% | 106 |
| #4 | TexasEddy | 43% | 214 |
| #5 | Lalauren123 | 38% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Scum Prophet | 46% | 216 |
| #3 | Vandit | 43% | 106 |
| #4 | TexasEddy | 43% | 214 |
| #5 | Lalauren123 | 38% | 122 |
| #6 | Sprinkles | 37% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scum Prophet | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | TexasEddy | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sprinkles | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Conquest | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Vandit | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scum Prophet | 610 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | TexasEddy | 186 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vandit | 103 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Conquest | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sprinkles | 20 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conquest | +1.44 | 58 | 32 |
| #2 | Vandit | +1.21 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | TexasEddy | +0.73 | 42 | 59 |
| #4 | I ♡ E-Girls | +0.01 | 55 | 48 |
| #5 | Sprinkles | -0.26 | 35 | 12 |





