








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Wingman | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11315 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7662 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 10827 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 11488 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,165,505 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 593 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sprinkles | 48% | 292 |
| #5 | I ♡ E-Girls | 46% | 216 |
| #6 | TexasEddy | 45% | 315 |
| #7 | Lalauren123 | 43% | 205 |
| #8 | Balista | 42% | 85 |





