








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1581 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1844 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,911 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xa1tz | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ItsMeGabbe | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Noah | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | wofflan | 45% | 137 |
| #5 | Jamal | 44% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jamal | 44% | 117 |
| #6 | benneros | 44% | 61 |
| #7 | Captain Hugo | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | Sigge | 42% | 156 |
| #9 | rosa percs | 40% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benneros | 15 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Sigge | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | rosa percs | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | wofflan | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Jamal | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | 373 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jamal | 280 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | benneros | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | wofflan | 82 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | rosa percs | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | +3.19 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | xa1tz | +2.84 | 89 | 50 |
| #3 | benneros | +1.35 | 79 | 41 |
| #4 | ItsMeGabbe | +1.23 | 81 | 39 |
| #5 | Jamal | +0.41 | 59 | 64 |





