








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2314 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2206 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1516 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2054 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,765 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benneros | 51% | 84 |
| #2 | Sigge | 46% | 225 |
| #3 | Igor | 44% | 117 |
| #4 | wofflan | 44% | 159 |
| #5 | rosa percs | 42% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benneros | 51% | 84 |
| #2 | Sigge | 46% | 225 |
| #3 | Igor | 44% | 117 |
| #4 | wofflan | 44% | 159 |
| #5 | rosa percs | 42% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | rosa percs | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | benneros | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | wofflan | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Igor | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | 491 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Igor | 153 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | benneros | 144 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | rosa percs | 110 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | wofflan | 109 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | +3.14 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | benneros | +0.70 | 80 | 45 |
| #3 | Jamal | -0.21 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Igor | -0.95 | 55 | 51 |
| #5 | wofflan | -1.71 | 70 | 37 |





