








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 627 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1051 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1695 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 715 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,925 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Lyckohoj | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Noah | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | benneros | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | benneros | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | rosa percs | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Igor | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Jamal | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigge | 529 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jamal | 323 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Igor | 171 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | rosa percs | 133 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | benneros | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | +7.11 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Sigge | +3.14 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | benneros | +1.39 | 80 | 43 |
| #4 | Sgt.TittyMilk | +0.95 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | Jamal | +0.16 | 59 | 63 |





