








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1365 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1483 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,903 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeffrlf2 | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Discount Zywoo | 54% | 78 |
| #3 | xZoKe | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Wrld | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Michaecide | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Michaecide | 9 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | Skokan | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | xZoKe | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Jeffrlf2 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | 341 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Skokan | 219 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jeffrlf2 | 153 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | xZoKe | 150 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wrld | 96 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humpter | +2.59 | 91 | 45 |
| #2 | Discount Zywoo | +2.19 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Michaecide | +1.89 | 58 | 41 |
| #4 | xZoKe | -0.63 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | Wrld | -0.67 | 64 | 64 |





