








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 41% |
| Smokes | 235 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,380 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richelsen | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Sanches | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | DRED | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | KrameoLime | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | SnaXD | 55% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KrameoLime | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | SnaXD | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | Nickerlas | 44% | 32 |
| #7 | FlashMinister | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | danny devito | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRED | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Nickerlas | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Sanches | 4 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | SnaXD | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | danny devito | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRED | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | KrameoLime | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | SnaXD | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Richelsen | 26 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | danny devito | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soldier TF2 | +3.64 | 79 | 42 |
| #2 | Richelsen | +2.00 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | DRED | +0.91 | 48 | 53 |
| #4 | FlashMinister | +0.90 | 53 | 34 |
| #5 | SnaXD | -0.66 | 29 | 47 |





