








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1671 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1022 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3793 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2630 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,637 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soldier TF2 | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | SnaXD | 48% | 149 |
| #3 | FlashMinister | 43% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soldier TF2 | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | SnaXD | 48% | 149 |
| #3 | FlashMinister | 43% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlashMinister | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SnaXD | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Soldier TF2 | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soldier TF2 | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | SnaXD | 65 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | FlashMinister | 12 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soldier TF2 | +4.15 | 83 | 43 |
| #2 | FlashMinister | +0.46 | 45 | 26 |
| #3 | KrameoLime | -0.33 | 50 | 39 |
| #4 | SnaXD | -0.40 | 33 | 39 |





