








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 466 | 13% |
| Smokes | 767 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1526 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,722 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Zynladen ✈ ▮▮ | 52% | 102 |
| #2 | Booty Beater | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | Cryptic Rein | 48% | 124 |
| #4 | Averell | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Deputy Kaleigh | 42% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bubbles | 42% | 140 |
| #7 | Tiger | 38% | 84 |
| #8 | Tim ツ | 29% | 14 |
| #9 | Monkeyslot | 28% | 47 |
| #10 | daniel | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Zynladen ✈ ▮▮ | 20 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Cryptic Rein | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Deputy Kaleigh | 12 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Bubbles | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | daniel | 5 | 0.0202 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Zynladen ✈ ▮▮ | 186 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Deputy Kaleigh | 167 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cryptic Rein | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bubbles | 156 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tiger | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigOlBre4d | +2.38 | 75 | 45 |
| #2 | Osama Zynladen ✈ ▮▮ | +1.69 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | Tiger | +1.15 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | Cryptic Rein | -0.64 | 60 | 50 |
| #5 | daniel | -0.69 | 67 | 27 |





