








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1019 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 588 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 220 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6857 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9181 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7781 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6528 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,358,116 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 576 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Zynladen ✈ ▮▮ | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | Booty Beater | 46% | 252 |
| #4 | Tiger | 46% | 389 |
| #5 | TheVapeDeity | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BigOlBre4d | 42% | 73 |
| #9 | Kin | 41% | 44 |
| #10 | Cryptic Rein | 40% | 88 |
| #11 | Meloni | 40% | 81 |
| #12 | daniel | 38% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | 35 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Tiger | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | daniel | 17 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | BigOlBre4d | 17 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | ✪ JG | 14 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booty Beater | 582 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Bubbles | 475 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #3 | Tiger | 424 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | 218 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Meloni | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ JG | +2.61 | 71 | 40 |
| #2 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | +2.57 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | Osama Zynladen ✈ ▮▮ | +2.47 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Tiger | +1.87 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | TheVapeDeity | +1.67 | 79 | 65 |





