








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 20% |
| Smokes | 790 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 752 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,277 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattron13 | 47% | 188 |
| #2 | JawlessPanda | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | Skankhunt42 | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | Begs | 42% | 71 |
| #5 | Stashh | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mattron13 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Begs | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Aztek | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Begs | 314 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mattron13 | 302 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | JawlessPanda | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Skankhunt42 | 35 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Aztek | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Begs | +6.90 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | JawlessPanda | +0.90 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | Mattron13 | +0.02 | 59 | 52 |
| #4 | ItchyFrit | -0.88 | 39 | 37 |
| #5 | Stashh | -1.36 | 52 | 45 |





