








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1256 | 36% |
| Smokes | 901 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 954 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,608 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | ItchyFrit | 47% | 188 |
| #3 | Skankhunt42 | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | Begs | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | Stashh | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ItchyFrit | 47% | 188 |
| #3 | Skankhunt42 | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | Begs | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | Stashh | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Aztek | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawlessPanda | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Begs | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ItchyFrit | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Aztek | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Begs | 281 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | ItchyFrit | 103 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | JawlessPanda | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Skankhunt42 | 35 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Aztek | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Begs | +6.64 | 93 | 69 |
| #2 | JawlessPanda | +2.02 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | Mattron13 | +0.02 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | Stashh | -0.69 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | ItchyFrit | -1.02 | 37 | 32 |





