








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 451 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 628 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 362 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,200 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeseball | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | valararararygayko | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Miggy Almiron | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | jono | 49% | 106 |
| #5 | adi ! | 46% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | valararararygayko | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Miggy Almiron | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | jono | 49% | 106 |
| #5 | adi ! | 46% | 78 |
| #6 | nuzzi | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | jono | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | adi ! | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | cheeseball | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | nuzzi | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | 131 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | cheeseball | 102 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | jono | 99 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | adi ! | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | nuzzi | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | +4.21 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | cheeseball | +0.06 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | valararararygayko | -0.68 | 60 | 25 |
| #4 | jono | -0.77 | 58 | 43 |
| #5 | adi ! | -1.49 | 33 | 45 |





