








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1724 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3899 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 1632 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,425,775 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 918 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valararararygayko | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | jono | 47% | 189 |
| #3 | valeriy twinkle | 46% | 78 |
| #4 | Miggy Almiron | 46% | 149 |
| #5 | nuzzi | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jono | 47% | 189 |
| #3 | valeriy twinkle | 46% | 78 |
| #4 | Miggy Almiron | 46% | 149 |
| #5 | nuzzi | 45% | 29 |
| #6 | cheeseball | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeseball | 12 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Miggy Almiron | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | jono | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | valeriy twinkle | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | valararararygayko | 6 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | 218 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | cheeseball | 175 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | jono | 151 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | nuzzi | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | valeriy twinkle | 88 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | +4.16 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | nuzzi | +0.66 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | cheeseball | +0.13 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | jono | -0.20 | 57 | 45 |
| #5 | valararararygayko | -1.04 | 50 | 38 |





