








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 26% |
| Smokes | 952 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 871 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,133 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jURBE | 33% | 9 |
| #7 | ♡ | 33% | 15 |
| #8 | Jojual | 32% | 62 |
| #9 | pinefiree | 22% | 9 |
| #10 | Ronza | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerggu | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Jonatzuu | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Jojual | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | pinefiree | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | SAM | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | 325 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jerggu | 168 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | SAM | 168 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jojual | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | jURBE | 38 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronza | +1.76 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | Jonatzuu | +1.31 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | SAM | +1.26 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | jURBE | +0.81 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | Jerggu | +0.63 | 78 | 53 |





