








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 18% |
| Smokes | 442 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 386 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 307 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,668 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Jojual | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | SAM | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | NxtSt3ak | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Jerggu | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jojual | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | SAM | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | NxtSt3ak | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Jerggu | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | pinefiree | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerggu | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | NxtSt3ak | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | SAM | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | 44 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jerggu | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | SAM | 23 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | NxtSt3ak | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jojual | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | +6.14 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | Jerggu | +2.60 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | SAM | +1.42 | 76 | 75 |
| #4 | BlackJack | +1.38 | 57 | 42 |
| #5 | Jojual | +0.87 | 81 | 25 |





