








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3471 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3009 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2340 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,203 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojual | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | Jonatzuu | 52% | 181 |
| #3 | ♡ | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Jerggu | 48% | 278 |
| #5 | NxtSt3ak | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♡ | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Jerggu | 48% | 278 |
| #5 | NxtSt3ak | 44% | 68 |
| #6 | AllluXi | 43% | 54 |
| #7 | Tuxedman | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Jerggu | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Jojual | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | NxtSt3ak | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | AllluXi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | 805 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | Jerggu | 382 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | NxtSt3ak | 146 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jojual | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | AllluXi | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonatzuu | +1.76 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Jerggu | +0.19 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | Jojual | +0.01 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | SAM | -0.08 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | AllluXi | -0.25 | 59 | 35 |





