








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 529 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 490 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 184 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4503 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7238 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7512 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7077 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,598,067 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC]Hellboy | 61% | 70 |
| #2 | [HGC]jni | 61% | 74 |
| #3 | [HGC] Νιζψs | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | [HGC] Бенсе | 58% | 144 |
| #5 | [HGC]SEAGALZOL1-TTVツ | 57% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC] retro | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | [HGC] Νιζψs | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Madzsi | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | [HGC] Áky™ | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | [HGC] ♡ Shiyuka ♡ | 8 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC] Νιζψs | 513 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | [HGC]Hellboy | 190 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | [HGC]SEAGALZOL1-TTVツ | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Madzsi | 116 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | [HGC] Áky™ | 103 | 0.03 | 2 min |





