








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 307 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1509 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2859 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 7229 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 4106 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,314 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC]h.h | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | [HGC]Hellboy | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | [HGC]SEAGALZOL1-TTVツ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | [HGC] retro | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | [HGC] Doni | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [HGC]Hellboy | 361 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | [HGC]SEAGALZOL1-TTVツ | 261 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | [HGC] Νιζψs | 141 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | [HGC]h.h | 123 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Венгерский убийц | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |





