










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1252 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1410 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1171 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1130 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,695 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jetsi | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | wald0 | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | Tw1sterr | 36% | 22 |
| #7 | Gargamel | 31% | 29 |
| #8 | Bailoe | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gargamel | 8 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | wald0 | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Tw1sterr | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Bailoe | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Jetsi | 2 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gargamel | 125 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tw1sterr | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bailoe | 31 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kallevi "Kash" Heiskanen | 22 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | TK | 20 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kallevi "Kash" Heiskanen | +3.39 | 57 | 75 |
| #2 | Gargamel | +2.20 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Jetsi | +1.79 | 48 | 44 |
| #4 | TK | +1.59 | 42 | 65 |
| #5 | Tw1sterr | +1.07 | 66 | 64 |





