








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1958 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1585 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1469 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1286 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,723 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heart | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | 123123 | 58% | 83 |
| #3 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | st0rm | 51% | 150 |
| #5 | AligaCat | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rm | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | tira | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | 123123 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | heart | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 424 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | tira | 377 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | st0rm | 333 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hamburger .。. | 236 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | heart | 229 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | +3.00 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | +2.44 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | 老六小趴菜 | +1.12 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | AligaCat | +1.04 | 62 | 62 |
| #5 | st0rm | +0.24 | 65 | 50 |





