








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7748 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7440 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2741 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 5388 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,847 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123123 | 60% | 94 |
| #2 | 老六小趴菜 | 55% | 110 |
| #3 | empurple | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | 51% | 114 |
| #5 | st0rm | 49% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | heart | 45% | 125 |
| #9 | ●℥ | 45% | 65 |
| #10 | MUnight | 42% | 122 |
| #11 | AligaCat | 42% | 67 |
| #12 | Noel | 35% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tira | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | st0rm | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Noel | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Hamburger .。. | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tira | 962 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | heart | 572 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | st0rm | 513 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hamburger .。. | 491 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | 358 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noel | +3.43 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | +2.66 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | +1.65 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | 老六小趴菜 | +1.39 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | empurple | +0.63 | 52 | 44 |





