








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1693 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3266 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3401 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3706 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,559,668 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ayro! | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | Vert | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 50% | 171 |
| #4 | Kus | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | sangleZ | 48% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | blk-Na7han | 46% | 154 |
| #8 | KegZ | 46% | 230 |
| #9 | Traz | 44% | 50 |
| #10 | vessel | 43% | 54 |
| #11 | Moth Lothbrok | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vert | 20 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | KegZ | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | blk-Na7han | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | sangleZ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KegZ | 507 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | blk-Na7han | 219 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 202 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | sangleZ | 192 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vert | 131 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | +3.72 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | LogZ | +1.43 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | sangleZ | +0.50 | 37 | 64 |
| #4 | KegZ | +0.36 | 70 | 56 |
| #5 | Kus | +0.10 | 56 | 57 |





